Months after reaching Jordan, Fatoum, who escaped war in Sudan could not feel safe. Fatoum had crossed the border from Sudan to Chad through an open vast savannah on foot, alone. Her journey had left her with scars that didn’t seem to heal. The sight of men in uniforms terrified her and sent her into panic. She rarely left the house or talked to anyone and fell into a deep depression.
When the militia attacked Fatoum’s village in Sudan, she was taken hostage. They kept her for two weeks, giving her only water to drink. When she was finally let go and returned home, her father turned her away because she had been assaulted.
It took her months to reach her husband who was a refugee in Jordan. But even in Jordan, she felt hopeless and wanted to end her life. “I tried many times to kill myself,” she said. “I didn’t want to live anymore.”
Coming across a Facebook post on Amna’s partner Collateral Repair Project’s (CRP) Facebook page about a Trauma Recovery Course, she decided to sign up.
“After the first session, I felt relieved,” she said. “I thought, this is the thing I have been looking for.” Over the weeks, the sessions helped her understand her trauma and begin to rebuild her life. “I started to see the good things in life, not only the bad things. Before, I only saw the negative side. Now I can continue my day.”
The course also gave her practical tools. She learned breathing techniques, which she now uses when panic attacks overwhelm her. “They help me a lot, even in the street while I am walking,” she explained.
Being part of the course also opened the door to new friendships. “Before, I didn’t talk to anyone,” she said. “Now I have friends. They are good people, and we are healing together.”
But Fatoum understands that healing is not a linier journey. She still struggles with painful thoughts and with the daily racial prejudice she faces. “People bully me in the street,” she said. “They say my skin is dirty. But this is my skin. There are so many colours of skin.”
However, she says the course gave her hope. “I wish there were more programmes like this,” she said. “It helped me start seeing life differently.”
-By Shiza Malik
